2010 Resolutions?!

Tonight was one of those nights that I wanted to write something awe-inspiring and so deep, that you thought you was talking to John from revelation (you know, that "let me read that part again because it's so tight" type of writing). But when I got on to write, I ended up reading a blog of a few of my acquintances. After reading their blogs, I had so many thoughts about my life and wondered, why don't I speak to these individuals as much as I used to or even want? Is the desire even their?

With these thoughts in mind, it dawned on me that I've been meaning to share with you what I believe will be my 2010 "RESOLUTION". Let me first say, I hate resolutions. I believe it's a list that people make to make themselves feel better about not accomplishing the things they wanted to see happen last year. Most of the time they don't do it, so it's a waste of time and creates false expectations (I am all about efficiency). Please do not mistake this to mean I don't believe in planning. I like planning (alot) and if I had it my way, I would plan everything all the time. However, I know myself and I have limit my extravagent planning so that I can let the LORD come in and have HIS way.

This leads me to say what my real purpose and striving will be in 2010. My true aim in 2010 (and really for the rest of my life) is to become more transparent. I acutally prayed about this with a friend at life group last week but I really want this to happen more. There are a few people that I can open up and share my heart with and I am so grateful for those people in my life. However, I do notice that I put my heart on lock around others. And we are right to guard our hearts, using GODLY wisdom and building trust with those we want to grow deeper with. However, there is that element of openness that must be present. And there are elements that keep us from being open. I want to address those issues, move beyond offense or just misunderstanding and move to a place where I express my true heart at the time. This is a lot of work, but unlike a resolution, the long term results are worth it!

So this is my striving in 2010: that I will display a heart of grace with everyone I come in contact with, even if I am tempted to think the bad, looking beyond my what I see and believe that their is good and find it. And if I can't see the good, moving to a place with people where my perceptions can be confronted with reality. In short, I want to move to a place of maintaining who I am as a person but truly loving and opening and sharing my heart with people, just because I love people and just because this is how JESUS loves me!